Sunday, January 17, 2010




This is me ..
I love to draw, and I used to draw..
One of the way to release my tension..
Know that I’m not in the right mood lately..
I choose to hide away from this ugly reality and indulge myself in ‘drawing’..
Despite of knowing that I’m having a test which carry 20% of the subject soon
Cause I just couldn’t find any other better way than this..to express my deep feeling

I do enjoy this kind of feeling..
Shut off my mind and lock myself in the room..
Crying, shouting and laughing madly alone..being emo
And thinking of nothing..
I just love this kind of feeling..

Stress..

Released..

Released..

Released…

And back to reality…

Don’t worry bout me guys, I’m alright
fully recharged =)

It is not true that life is one damn thing after another; it is one damn thing over and over..

Sunday, January 10, 2010

I’m sick..
I feel so upset..
I don’t feel good..
I’m so exhausted..
I had nightmares for this few nights, which makes me so sleepless lately..
I don’t feel to talk recently..
I feel so heavy this moment..
I wish I could stay in house for longer time, even just for one more hour..
I wish he could be here to pamper me in this moment..
I wish I could just lay on bed and have my mind rest, but I got a pile of works awaiting for me..
I’m totally blank, have no idea to solve my tutorials at all..
I hate being alone in room..
I hate this kind of feeling..
I hate…

I just hate everything…

Sorry for being emo again =(

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Filtration, Galvanisation, and Chocolatisation

Yeah, my life has undergone three processes, filtration, galvanisation, and chocolatisation, in just a day. Today was quite a blessed day, besides the fact that there were some complications with my breathing.. Urm,I tried to adapt to the changes to my life through the three difficult processes, and I hope things will turn out fine. Today was the first trial run for me, and things went on okay. It feels good when we care less about our surroundings, especially about things and people who have nothing to do with us, and of course it feels great not to worry too much about peoples’ asses. =P

I felt slightly lighter today. Filtration process has helped me expel filthy animals outta my life, while the Galvanisation process required me to be mean to mean people and to shield myself from their words. Chocolatisation was the best part of the whole set of processes. It simply helps me through thick and coarse the sweet way, but a lot of people have to pay the price for me to walk this path. Lolx.. I made it sound so scary. Actually its just a minor change. But I wasn’t joking la.. thanks all my friends for being my companions during the hard times..

*feel like biting chocolate now =)

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

'09 Summary and '10 Preface

If I were to picture 2009 as a flower, I would picture it as a flower with twelve petals. Each petal would be coloured a different colour from the rest. I may have put the summary a report too simple in my last post, but to me, 2009 has been a epic, not too long an epic.. but yes, an EPIC, which has been cleverly written by the one above us. It could be only happening to me, but the months of 2009, each of them had their own stories to tell. It’s as if they have a mind of themselves, and their stories, each, at the first dawn of every month awaited patiently to surface, just like a hatchling-to-be struggling to break through the hard shell of his egg.

January and February had been so easy on me, too easy till I find life having no meaning whatsoever.

March was sweet as sugar but too bad it didn’t last long enough for April to greet me.

May could have been a better month for me, but I could say that I was quite satisfied with it, if it was for my birthday. =P

June been really unfair for me. Each and every day hurt me down to the spine.

July was the month I learnt that life’s so different when I look at it from a different corner. It somehow drizzled once in a while leaving me wet under the skies.

August was the months of pain and agony. Everyone expected every little bit from me even when I have nothing left for myself.

This dragged on till September and October. However, the highlights during September and October weren’t how painful I felt, but it was a month when I lost my handphone and my beloved one.Rest in peace grandpa..
Some were spent on really deserving occasions, while some proved unworthy of the expenditure. I sighed the most these sixty one days. This was also the time I told the God how much I wanted things to be mended.

November was the month mixed with sweet and bitter memories, struggling dreadfully in examinations.

December, being the last month of the year had been most memorable. There were a few moments which had carved a smile on my face, and changed my perspective on certain things.

*********************************************************************************
Whether things will last till my very last semi-second on Earth or not, I don’t know, but I certainly hope so.
All in all, 2009, being heavier on one side of the scale, had been just so-so besides what I’ve described it earlier as great. As Squidward has said it once, ‘After so long, you now know that what you really want isn’t what you’re looking for, because what you want all these while is what’s inside you all along…’ . (please give squidward a round of applause…) =)
I could have said that earlier probably because my mood was still good and fresh, but the descriptions made here on this column had been expressed out of a neutral mood or fair point of view. Thanks to December, my year hasn’t been as bad as rotten cucumbers. About 2010, as everyone has a say about its arrival, I should expect that it is a year with more hope and peace of mind. More hope for those who had been hurt in the previous year, more hope for those who pray for success, and more hope for those who are in need. In fact, more hope for those in search for a peaceful mind. As what I have learnt and what people had taught me last year, perhaps this year is a year that I should be a little mature about things.

It could be a little funny to say that the reasoning power that I’ve worshipped so far hadn’t been really helpful at certain occasion, so may be I could just spare myself two more chances of unleashing it this year, and should no one understand simple logic. LOL.. there’s nothing I could do but to take action, as my friends had always said, ‘action speaks louder than words’. I won’t let myself get hurt this year, and I hope no one would be so unreasonable to hurt me. Patience had really sickened me last year. 2010 is simply a revenge year for me. Hahaha.. Let’s see how 2010 goes..
My diary (or perhaps, my old self) had taught me a new thing in life… I quote,
"Let yesterday tell you how blessed tomorrow will be, and listen to tomorrow when he tells you how blessed your yesterdays were…"
If you think the meaning is something like this, "Your yesterdays were blessed and good, and your tomorrow will be blessed and good too..", you’re making me laugh, >.< so you better think again because that’s not the meaning..

Anyway.. Happy New Year to everyone…

Don’t frown.. I don’t bite, I just swallow. =P

Monday, December 28, 2009

-------> 2010

Whoah.. its coming to the end of the year again. Christmas had been fun, real fun and good for me, in fact it was one of the very best Christmas I’ve ever had in my life. Frankly speaking, the best present one will ever receive is a cheesecake, and until this very moment, I am still stunned at the wonders he can do. True, I shouldn’t even doubt that he could do that, but it came too suddenly and I guess I was shocked. Really shocked, but happy. More happy than anything that could happened to me. It was the best gift I ever received for Christmas so far. Thanks for being there to make up my day and give me warmth on this white snowy season. Thanks a lot .. for so much love and care.


The year-end summary… Year 2009 has been so unpredictable in so many aspects. Yea, a month there was when I thought everything was under my feet, and a week after that I found that those things were not as what I expect them to be. Some had gone out of control and some had even gone on top of my head. Then there was some arguments here and there, and problems with people being selfish, but I found out that in the end, things weren’t what thought to be. In fact I was wrong bout certain things at times. Anyway, this year had been nice and memorable to me. I just hope that certain things would last and that the coming year, 2010 would be of a better year for myself and the people I love, I adore of. All in all, I’m satisfied with the three hundred and sixty five sunsets I have seen and thanks guys, my heart is still smiling because of you guys… =)