Friday, August 21, 2009

Today’s post, unfortunately will be a boring one, in contrast to what I had before. ‘Sigh…’ is the only thing I can do. It’s super boring, and tiring when you have loads of work to do, what more if you delay some of them till they stack up just like piles of haystack in farms. Yea, that’s me. I haven’t been really able breathe, have my own personal space, do things I like to do, talk to people I want to talk to, have a good night sleep, enjoy a scoop or two of ice cream, treat my tongue to a slice of chocolate-mint, shopping, cycling and movies. These were the things I usually do when I still had the time, and true to say that the word here is ‘were’. Haih..

And now the worst thing is that I have to face people I don’t wanna see everyday. It sucks. My gudness. I have changed a lot. From a jovial and crazy kinda gal, who knows her limits as in when to stop, I had transformed into a killing machine who have nothing in my mind but rage and frustration. Thanks to the environment of course. I had given up on doing homework. Really. That’s another change. Used to love them. I used vulgar words on last week with my parents at home. >.< I felt so different. It was the second time in my life that I was so vulgar. Of course there’s still some sense of humanity in me-


I FELT GUILTY.


Sigh. .Fate was never on my side ( I used to believe in lucks, but now NO). I had encountered so many disasters. I felt so devastated. Life wasn’t being fair to me. I avoided many peoples, friends and family. I missed people who had already passed away. I’m getting too greedy, I want everything good to be mine. I started day-dreaming. I do not give in anymore. Sympathy is not my game anymore. It’s history. Sigh.
I wish I could still gather courage in me to penetrate this emotional and spiritual barrier. Someone please lend me a hand .. arhhhh >.<

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

*huggles* finally yynsun updated.. i only wish you feel my hands from this far away.. :)

Phoebe woo said...

greetings from india!!!
dun worry sun i know nothing is hard for u..lets go through it together!

Yynsun said...

lol...one from US n one from india..thx for the wishes yea.
bee...how yea doing thr?!

Vinces said...

wah, it's been hundred of years i dint involve in writting, haha.
For every barrier in our life, i would treat it as my teacher, they provide me the learning process, my personal growth. well,the main difference between human and robot is human=emosion while, robot= like me,work blindly in order to pursue goal.
i think i should learn from you , release some tension by writting blogs^^.At least, you know that you are not the only one who's facing the problem alone, but someone from another world, at the same time,is sharing the problem with you...cheer up^^

kacheng said...

passby =) linked.

~Hui Ying~ said...

hi..im the one whom u added on fb...well...i guess it's life in UM....or rather reality in UM...coz im facing the same thing as u did...it feels bad..really bad...its as though i no longer noe myself...but anyways...jz hang onto it n may we walk out of the dark...=)